It’s just an ordinary Wednesday. At least I thought so.
Everyone says their goodbyes and leaves the crowded table to head home for the night. Now it’s just me and him. In this moment the scenarios and possibilities run wildly through my mind. None of which will come to fruition. It was announced to me some months ago, by a mutual friend, that he had other interests. It’s a romantic tragedy for me. Almost three years in the making and for one of those years I lived in Canada!
Any sane individual would have given up by now, but I can’t. I can’t let this go. I wait quietly on the sideline barely saying anything. When I do, it’s the awkward introverted disjointed sentences that sound so beautiful in my mind, that come out all wrong.
We are sitting there. Alone. Opposite each other. Absentmindedly, I had sat in a position where I could stare at him and dream. I watch his every word. His every laugh. I watch when he tells stories and his eyes light up with passion. I just watch because I adore him.
Out of the blue he asks if I want to drive to a favourite vantage point overlooking the city. The kissing point. I’m taken aback by the invitation. I’ve learned to take up an opportunity when it’s given so naturally, I say yes.
I jump into the passenger seat of his 4WD and we head on up the mountain. At the summit we find a semi-secluded grassy spot to sit and discuss our life with drinks. We haven’t seen each other or spoken for quite some time. The city lights are always so impressive from up here. Makes the busy life down there seem so small and insignificant.
The intensely intent conversation was abruptly interrupted by rain. I wanted to stay for many reasons. Perhaps so the night wouldn’t end so suddenly and also to feel the fresh cool water droplets fall on my skin. It hasn’t rained for many months. Drought.
Upon my request, we stayed outside in the elements for as long as we could. It was fun and exciting until the sky began to fill with grumbling thunder and flashes of lightning. It’s bucketing down now. We are getting drenched. Time to take refuge.
He ran ahead. I was soaked. My clothes clung to all my curves and my hair became heavy and fell straight down against my face. As I reached the safety of cover, he reaches out his hand for mine and smiles. “You are just as beautiful in the rain” he says, sounding surprised. I was more surprised than he was. A compliment from a man who I adore, in a moment where I possibly looked my worst. My heart skipped a beat. It was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said and I liked it. I really liked it.
From cover, we stand (for what felt like hours) and watch the magnificent lightning show and power of the storm. We talked, laughed and messed around like young children playing. After all the excitement of the downpour our bodies started cooling down and the shivering began. I mentioned that it might be warmer if we stood up against the rock wall. It possibly has held in the heat from the day.
Our backs are against the wall and I could see him still shivering. Instinctively, I moved closer and pressed my body up against his. We were both facing the same direction. My back was against his chest. I could feel the body heat transfer. He didn’t move away like I thought he might and wrapped his arms around me to ensure to keep in the heat. It was moments after, I realised it wasn’t about the heat anymore. Not now. Perhaps at first, but definitely not now. His embrace is perfect. I have never felt so comfortable in the arms of another human being. Mostly in life I have tolerated hugs. Not this one. This one is indescribably magnetic.
As we weren’t facing each other I had enough fake confidence to bring up conversations and questions that previously I have been too scared to ask and to hear the answer. I learnt a lot about myself that night. I became aware of some of my greatest fears. I realised who I was and who I wanted to be. I have always been told to open up and let down my guard. Somehow, somewhere there was a part of me that was able to conjure up enough courage to ask if he loved me. Perhaps something in us both changed that night.
The story ends here but the night followed through until sunrise. I inexplicably have my answer. For now, I will bide my time and wait for the reappearance of the Summer Rain.