Written by a friend. I suggested that writing down his thoughts and feelings might help with the process like it has done for me many times over.
My hands tremble as I write this.
When I think of you, all the pain, regret and remorse rises to the surface like an unstoppable force. This is an open letter to the most beautiful girl I have ever had the privilege of knowing. You don’t want me to be in contact with you and I have recently. It has just dawned on me realising how selfish that is. Every time you hear from me it must reopen all the wounds of your own that you are trying to heal.
I am fine most of the time. Sometimes I get scared, miss you and feel so terrible about things. It is selfish contacting you, putting my fears and emotions onto you, while you are trying to rebuild your own life. I am sorry, it wont happen again. I am done with being selfish.
Only recently I have come to fully understand something you had said to me. That if I truly loved you, I would just want you to be happy. I find that I do. I wish you all the happiness that you could ever want. I am not afraid for you, because somebody as attractive, intelligent and kind as you will have no trouble finding happiness. I am the one who has to delve deep into my soul and change into the man I have always wanted to be to find my own happiness.
I don’t need to go into what I am sorry for. You know. You never deserved any of that. You tried so hard to save us many times. You went above and beyond to try and save us. I want you to know that I appreciate everything you have ever done for me. It is a lot. Please don’t think that I never appreciated it or took it for granted. I can remember every time you have ever helped me. I am not going to ask for your forgiveness because I don’t believe I deserve it. Please give all the gang a big hug and kiss from me and tell them that I love them (even Timmy).
I won’t contact you again. We have our own paths in life to walk now. I always loved you even though I never showed it. I now realise what I have lost. Don’t ever forget that you are beautiful, intelligent, sexy, funny and have a huge heart. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise again. Don’t settle for second best, shoot for the stars. x
THE WAY I KNOW HER
She is as beautiful as a sunset.
Her mind and wit have no compare.
Full red lips that need nothing to enhance them.
Hair as black and lustrous as a ravens wing.
Tanned skin as smooth as velvet.
Her eyes deep pools of enchantment and mischief.
Her smile, well her smile breaks my heart.
I have been a fool.
A fool from the beginning.
With ridiculous statements of what I want to what I need.
Realising they were one and the same.
THIS IS THE WAY I KNOW HER
“Io ti amo sempre, e spero le nostre anime si incontrano di nuovo in un’altra vita”
x x x