An impromptu trip overseas on my own meant more to me than just a holiday.
Thirteen years ago, with life choices that I made, had me living in a country I didn’t know with people I’d never met. This was a tough year for me as there was so much uncertainty surrounding the length of time I would be away from home. I survived obviously, however it left some deep seeded scars which no-one could see or feel, except me.
An opportunity arose where I had a chance to look at the scars, take another journey, and realise how faded they had become. This was a choice I made regardless of anyone else’s thoughts or feelings towards it. Consequently, it was the best decision I’ve made in a long time. You could say that I had a “soul purpose”.
After a twenty hour flight I looked down from the plane window to see the constant waves of the ocean lapping against the jagged cliffs. I was excited. It’s exactly how I remembered it. It reminded me that this time I was here to revisit and reconnect with friendly faces, to tour around, relax and cleanse my soul.
As we made our way in the van down the highway from Dublin airport, after a quick stop for coffee and chocolate (it’s so much better here in Ireland), I again became aware of how beautiful the landscape truly is. It’s summertime and all the hills and paddocks are lusciously green. Even at 9pm it’s still broad daylight. I smile.
I am happy and content. It’s so heartwarming to be back. There’s so many people I want to see and so many places I want to revisit. I’ve already been met by my favourite person from the moment I touched down.
The scars within my soul are fading. I can open up, be myself and feel with love, acceptance and understanding rather than guilt, shame or embarrassment. I feel like I’m in the right place at the right time. It’s perfect.
On this two week adventure there was only a couple of sad moments. The first was visiting the resting place of someone who I had a very deep respect for. As I stood there, with tears welling up in my eyes, I begin to remember all the times that this man looked out for me. He brought me breakfast rolls in the morning, took me on a roadtrip and also gave me a little kitten who I named “Monkey”. She was tiny, could fit in the palm of my hand, too small to be away from her mother and riddled with fleas. This kitten gave me a purpose. I loved her and she left me soon after I had left her to come back home.
After a few moments of daydreaming of the past, I stopped. I thanked the world for bringing this man into my life and thanked him for being there for me. At the time, I didn’t understand how much his being would mean to me. I smile, thank him again and step away. I’m happy and sad both at once. I truly appreciate being able to visit and forever grateful to Tom, who so easily agreed to take me and to allow me to share this moment with him.
The second sad moment was in the saying of farewell. It’s definitely not a goodbye because I will certainly be going back. I made a pact with a few girlfriends not to leave the visits so far apart. Who knows what 2018 will bring?
I’m three weeks home now and the dark place has been replaced with warmth and light. I thank all those who made my time enjoyable and memorable for the greatest of reasons. The hospitality is second to none. I also cherish the new friends I have made in such a short amount of time. My love for Ireland and it’s people will never change.
Soul purpose complete. Thank you.